Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
