So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
