If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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