Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
