I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
