where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
