She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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