We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
