You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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