he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
