Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize