I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
