my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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