I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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