My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
