College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
