North Korea, Best Korea!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
