can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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