I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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