Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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