ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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