you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
