I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Is Oprah even human
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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