The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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