420 ftw
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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