Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize