isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
