Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
