She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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