Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it glows. i had to have it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
