Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I lost the right to judge tonight
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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