Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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