Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
