I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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