Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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