I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize