I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
