no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
