so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
