its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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