No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ladies don't puke and tell
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
