Ambien. No doubt about it.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
