Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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