That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
