Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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