I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
