Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
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