I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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