Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
