Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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