dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
