Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
