Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I've blown a few things in my day
i think i have two assholes
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
