and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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