I wish I only lived at night.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm both gender and math confused
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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