No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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